lightbeam

He wanted to be in one of my blog posts so now he is.  i hope it pleases him.




lightbeam186 Resident: her energies are so high she can remote view

Swan Quartz: i am also a remote viewer

lightbeam186 Resident: wow can you remote view me now

lightbeam186 Resident: tell me about my room

Swan Quartz: maybe.  im trying not to focus that intently on you

lightbeam186 Resident: please do it  :)

Swan Quartz: in my mind i see you in a tshirt right now and i can see your bald spot

lightbeam186 Resident: wow that is so right on

lightbeam186 Resident: well do you see us together for very long

Swan Quartz: i dont see us having a future together but i see us spending time together short term

Swan Quartz: do you have a little belly on you.  like a little round pooch belly?

Swan Quartz: i see that

lightbeam186 Resident: yes

Beware of Gateway

     There is a bdsm cult group in sl called Gateway.  They reject all traditional views on D/s or the core of D/s, dismissing the basic ideas within the lifestyle out of hand because they are not capable Dominants.  They have no basic understanding of simple concepts within D/s and even if you try to explain to them why these things exist, they flat out will call you a liar or say your experience isnt real or means something entirely different than what you actually experienced.  They are rogue tops at best.  if you mention subspace or Domspace or aftercare or any other concept that may be a part of your reality, they will tell you it doesnt exist and isnt real.  Do i really need to say any more?  Speaks for itself doesnt it?  

     They use the tag "D/s without the BS" but when i visited that sim and each time i spoke to the Owner (he immed me more than once) ALL that came out of his mouth was complete bullshit.

Master Austere

Sub Frenzy

     i posted this link because as an unowned submissive, this is one of my biggest issues i have to deal with.  my other big issue is Subdrop.

     ive allowed my male friends to Dominate me to take the edges off of my intense need and keep me functioning at a reasonable level.  ive lost many male friends though because they wanted more than just to help me, they wanted me to submit completely.  i felt i was navigating the dangers of my compulsions really well, usually keeping sex completely out of the sessions, running away if i felt myself start to bond with a Dominant who i didnt feel safe submitting to.

     But, i went completely off the deep end last night.  i became completely out of control.  i became a begging slave and couldnt make myself stop.  Everything He did and said became a trigger. at one point i became so out of control and spacy that i forgot where i was completely and even lost control of my writhing squirming body.  He kept losing me.  i couldnt stop flying.

Celebrity

     i went to the Saturday farmer's market today, then test drove cars at two dealerships and just returned home.  my daughter caught a cold, which wouldnt be the end of the world except . . .she has to fly to LA for a private audition by invitation only to be on a TV Show.  and she has to leave for California in four days.  so, its kind of up in the air right now.  anyway, im sure things will work out ok but its always stressful before her auditions because the stakes always seem so high.  i went downstairs and asked her if i could do anything to help.  she asked me to make Thai noodles.  But, when i brought them to her she winced at me and said, "uh Mom there is something i forgot to tell you about the show.  if i get the gig, they are gonna want to fly you out to LA to be interviewed on camera.  They will pay for your hotel and everything.  But, i need to know you are on board with all this.  because, youll be on TV."

0.o

     No one who reads this probably knows me well enough to know that being in the spotlight is something i abhor immensely.  Some people might jump at the chance for any type of recognition.  Not me.  i like being in the background, supporting people i love without any recognition or praise.  i probably cant think of anything more horrifying for me then being watched on television by millions of people.  Everyone here is trying to tell me how beautiful i look in my pretty dresses and how much everyone will love me, that i shouldnt worry because i will be beautiful.  But, inside im secretly hoping she doesnt get the job and i know thats terrible to say that because i do want my daughter to be successful and follow all her dreams.  But, that lifestyle is not something i ever really wanted.  im terrified of embarrassing my daughter even though people dont think i would.

     Sometimes i feel like im not me anymore.  im just HER mother.  and i dont mind that at all.  i adore my daughter more than i have words to convey.  But, its weird that so many other people identify me in that way. She is all people want to talk about anymore.  People are constantly asking me questions about her, about her work and her plans.  About her personal life.  About her romantic life.  No one asks what im up to because its boring and domestic.  They all want to live vicariously though my daughter and her celebrity so they constantly bring her up in their conversations with me and ask 500 questions about what she is up to.  Celebrity is weird.

JJAMZ

     i had the best day today !  its probably because i stayed offline entirely.  i wore one of my new summer dresses.  a really pretty black dress with floral English garden print on it.  and it had these tiny straps so i had wear a strapless bra with it.  it was full length and sleeveless with a cute ruffle across the top at my cleavage and fitted showing off my figure.  nice light cotton fabric but not see through.  i wore it with a dainty little blue sparkling dragonfly anklet and some cute black sequined sandals.  and i had painted my toenails "Flashy Fuchsia"  a delicate white gold necklace and my favorite aquamarine cocktail ring.

     the sun was out and i rolled down the window in the car and just basked in the cool breeze coming off the water.  the ocean sparkled like a million tiny diamonds were floating on the surface of the waves.  i took my daughter and her boyfriend out to dinner and we listened to JJAMZ at full blast on the car stereo.

Cleverly Disguised

     i went to the local healthfood store and found some gorgeous organic heirloom tomatoes which i couldnt resist taking home with me.  i was in town shopping at four different stores including a beauty supply store and i only returned home a short while ago.  i put all the groceries and little treasures i found away and arranged flowers in beautiful waterford crystal vases and then i stepped out onto the cedar deck outside my bedroom and listened to the waves crash on the beach as the sun began to set, inhaling the scent of all the different flowers i had potted and placed around the deck.  such a charmed life.  may seem kind of boring to anyone reading this but i wish every day could be like today.

Eulogy for a Router

     What can i say about my router?  my router, we used to call it "the router"  it was a friend and a warrior, inside and out.  i only have limited memories of my router.  we never really got an opportunity to develop a close relationship because my router lived downstairs in the basement and my bedroom was upstairs.  what i remember most about my router is that it was always there for me during the most important times in my online life.

     Through all the good times and all the bad times, my router was the one constant in my online life.

     We lived separate lives.  We rarely saw each other.  But, what i do know is that my router was mostly dependable and carried out its duties without asking for praise or acknowledgement.  My router gave its last breath so that i could have internet.

     i was playing the sims social and finishing a quest to get an English trophy reward when something suddenly went terribly wrong with my internet.  i was in complete denial about what was happening and the next morning, when my internet didnt return, i resigned to call my isp and find out what happened.  a man came to my house and pronounced my router to be dead.  it passed on to a better place and was replaced by a new shiny router that would carry on with the same duties.

     im confident that my router has gone on to the place all routers go when they pass from this life.  my router will always be in my heart.  Thank you, router, for all the thankless work you did on my behalf, so that i could have access to the internet.  May you rest in peace.